Why this blog?

Because HAPPINESS is misused. My theory is that Happiness is NOT the POINT of Life; rather, it is a POINTER IN LIFE. Making life happier is what I specialise in. Find me at abetterlife-uk.com and http://hertscollegeofhypnosisandnlp.co.uk

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Is this the future of happiness?

Just giving out of love - and not out of any need to feel important in doing so. Is this the core of true happiness?
Watch this short video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_3BEwpv0dM

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Happiness with holes?

A classic circular argument or commentary on men and women communicating? I loved this short 'song' when I was a child... and found myself recalling it yesterday when I experienced a conversation that set off somewhere only to arrive back where it began. I said 'there's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza'... well, my friend thought I'd lost the plot. So we googled it... and laughed hopelessly as we replayed it over and over again as we lost sight of any disagreement. 'See' what you think. Does it deserve reviving? Maybe it belongs in all business coaching programmes? I leave it to you... If you like it, pass it on.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Jobsworths take over our happiness

From the Telegraph Newspaper online today: The Government hopes that they will gain a better insight into society from the survey than from traditional economic indicators and tests.
"At the moment there's a fairly high level aspiration that policy should be based on more than just economic measures," said Paul Allin, ONS programme director.
The 200,000 people involved will be asked to rank how "satisfied" they are and how "anxious" they felt the previous day.
From April, the ONS will ask:
How satisfied are you with your life nowadays?
How happy did you feel yesterday?
How anxious did you feel yesterday?
To what extent do you feel the things you do in your life are worthwhile?
There will also be broader questions that are designed to try to explain people's feelings, to dig down into the drivers of individuals' happiness.
Other countries are devising similar measurements. French President Nicolas Sarkozy asked Nobel laureate Joseph Stiglitz, a former White House adviser and World Bank chief economist, and a group of international experts to find new ways to measure economic progress taking into account social well-being.
Mr Stiglitz's report was critical of the way GDP, a raw measure of economic activity, was being used to gauge society's well-being. An increase in fuel consumption, it noted, would boost growth figures even if it merely reflected more traffic jams and pollution.
My Comment: Do these questions really find out about happiness? Did you know that we are all very good at deceiving ourselves and tend to rate our happiness higher than it is?  What is the difference between 'satisfied' and happy? Does pursuing happy feelings really result in happiness?


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happiness in Britain is....

Taken on my camera phone. First things first lads - put the shovel out of the way and get the tools plugged in. The kettle. Aaaaahhh - happiness is a nice cuppa.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Love and relationships are two different things

Happy love means conflict -free love? Alain de Botton muses on why a bookish life is a poor preparation for marriage! He says Western literature's obsession with unrequited love means the average love story is of help only to the lovelorn. And he argues that the blandness of the word marriage hides a "welter of intensity and depth that put to shame the most passionate works of literature'. Listen on Radio 4 here

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"Huna and Ho'oponopono 2: The Hawaiian Code of Forgiveness"

Free recording. "Huna and Ho'oponopono 2: The Hawaiian Code of Forgiveness". Huna was originally called Ho'omana. Ho'o means to make. Mana means life force. Taken together the word Ho'omana means empowerment or to empower. Huna is about empowerment, about increasing your spirituality, energy and metaphysical healing powers.
Matthew B. James, MA, PhD provides a brief introduction to Huna and Ho'oponopono while also guiding you through an induction and the process of healing. Ho'oponopono (1) helps to cut the aka connections with everything, while Ho'oponopono (2) is very specialized and is for use with a single transgressor.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Choose: more happy slobs or more unhappy intellectuals?

BBC Four just re-ran Michael Sandel’s lecture on Utilitarianism and Happiness. It's saved for you to watch here. Sandal puts JS Mill's assertion that 'it is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied.' This lecture is a good opener on this old debate, which still rumbles on; for example, Professor Layard, who advised the recent labour government, took James Bentham's opposing view.
Part 1 -- PUTTING A PRICE TAG ON LIFE: Sandel takes a modern view to explore how we attempt to resolve moral even political dilemmas. He makes a neat job of showing the possible objections to the utilitarian logic of seeking “the greatest good for the greatest number.”
Part 2 -- HOW TO MEASURE PLEASURE: Sandel then introduces J. S. Mill, a utilitarian philosopher who argues that seeking “the greatest good for the greatest number” is compatible with protecting individual rights, and that utilitarianism can make room for a distinction between higher and lower pleasures. Sandel tests this theory by playing video clips from three very different forms of entertainment: Shakespeare’s Hamlet, the reality show Fear Factor, and The Simpsons.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Andy Murray - why did he underperform?

Any crashed out to a straight sets loss against Djokovic in the Aussie Open on Sunday. How come he so under-performed? Yes Djokovic played extremely well. We've seen Andy Murray play some great matches against great opponents - so it's not that he lacks the capability. Was he physically drained? Possibly, but my guess is that he has found the energy in previous situations like this. So what else might explain it?

Any top performer plays his very best when he or she is fully aligned at all levels of consciousness; this allows them to get into the state of 'flow'. At this high level of competition, any slight doubt of any kind can be enough to sink the ship, as it were. I recall one sprinter saying that if you were going to compete against Linford Christe, if you had any slight doubt even for a second in the week before the race, then you had already lost. In NLP language, that's a lack of alignment at the unconscious level. And yet, it's quite easy to put right.

Of course, the old-fashioned way is to keep going until you get a break and your mind suddenly fully realises that you really ARE a winner; rather like appeared to happen for Roger Federer after his first Wimbledon win. But that's a risky strategy. I think that's what never happened for Tim Henman. Agassi transformed his approach as a result of NLP coaching.

For any of us, the real difference that makes the difference as to whether or not we get what we are truly capable of in life, is about unconscious mis-alignment. Simply put, we have either unrecognised doubts or competing desires which undermine our focus and determination. It's totally fixable these days.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Is real happiness unrealistic? Beware of reality checks; check on reality itself first

Let's say life is good... but, being honest with yourself, is it the way you'd be if you had 'three wishes' - or even just one :)   Aaah but we have to live in the real world. What if you discovered that reality is not as real as we tend to believe? Check out this BBC Horizon video and just wonder...

What is Reality? Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Happiness on video - free

From the World Conference on Happiness and Its Causes, Sydney
Some great presentations recorded for you to watch free online 
Don't miss this opportunity - I don't know how long they will be there (I had to buy previous recordings as DVD sets). 
<View the whole programme here>
I particularly recommend these two: 
Dr Robert Thurman
Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies, Department of Religion, Columbia University, USA
    * Can we find a reliable source of happiness?
    * Is it possible to have enduring satisfaction in life without depriving others?
    * Compassion and generosity can be fun.
    * Can we educate ourselves and our children to live life to its fullest? 
Hugh Mackay
Psychologist, social researcher and novelist, Author: Advance Australia…Where? and Right & Wrong: How to decide for yourself
    * How have changes in Australian society affected our psyche?
    * Does the pace of change create an unrealistic obsession with “control”?
    * Why we need to embrace the full spectrum of human emotions – not just happiness
    * Why we need to accept that life is for living, not controlling
 His ideas on ALL emotions being important echoes my own ideas, that emotions are feedback signals from the mind-body system trying to maintain internal equilibrium within its environment.