HAPPINESS AND A HAPPY LIFE ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME THING....

Here's my beef - that happiness and happy lives are not necessarily the same thing at all. And more importantly, I have the idea that Happiness is not something you should pursue in any case. Shocking? I'll explain.

You see, researchers use the notion of 'Subjective Well-Being' or SWB to measure happiness in their surveys. They ask questions like, How happy have you felt over the last month?  and How satisfied are you with your life?  You might give two very different answers to each of these questions. Others may not. It depends in part on what you think they mean. Others have made this point too.

Recent research has also pointed out that Happiness and Meaningfulness are not the same thing.. which is kind of along the same lines. But I think there is a more fundamental problem. We have got the whole idea of happiness messed up. (The full paper is here).

Here's my BIG IDEA: WHAT IF EVERYTHING THAT YOU THOUGHT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY WERE TOTALLY WRONG? Unlikely? Not so; in fact, it's very probable....

Professor of psychology at Harvard, Daniel Gilbert wrote in his book Stumbling on Happiness that the single biggest obstacle to our happiness is our natural inability to think accurately about the future. 

Gilbert goes as far as to accuse our brains of being “talented forgers”, fabricating a convincing living story made up of nothing but memories and distorted perceptions. Happiness is, by far, an “inside job.”  I agree.

BUT there’s worse to come. And this comes from my own experience of some twenty years working with people to solve a myriad of life problems, and it’s this: HAPPINESS is JUST AN EMOTION – a FEELING.  And FEELINGS are meant to be learnt from. They are the mind/body’s natural feedback signal – just kike pain teaches you not to stick your finger in the fire. 

SO WHAT DOES HAPPINESS SAY to us? 

My idea is that Happiness says YOU ENJOYED THAT - something resonated with you. AND HAPPINESS ASKS - WHAT WAS IT ABOUT THIS THAT MAKES IT SO GOOD? LEARN from it; what is it teaching you about what matters in life to you? Where is it telling you to head - the direction for more of what this was really about?

The bottom line: happiness is NOT the POINT of Life; rather, it is a POINTER IN LIFE. Sign up to my blog and get four free articles introducing my ideas on happiness; the Physics of Happiness.